• Mom: *blasting 1D in the car*
  • Kids: Mom can you turn that down
  • Mom: No, why would you say that!
  • Kids: We don't like One Direction, mom
  • Mom: *pulles over*
  • Mom: Larry. Niam. Get out.

Life is so hard when your best friend is a 9.5/10 and you’re a strong 4 with the right filter and lighting

(Source: sorelatable, via greeklesbian)


a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

(via fuckyeahloldemort)